Darius Wright, 28, says that he hatched the plan after stumbling into the famed establishment when he was a boy of seventeen.

      "I was pretty upset that night, I got dumped by my girl for some jock on the football team," Wright said as he stared thoughtfully at a symbolic empty glass on his kitchen table.

      "I had all sorts of crazy ideas running through my head, and somehow I ended up at JJ Rossy's. I think I was lost or something."

      Wright said it was fate, or maybe his need to urinate, that brought him into JJs that night, but that the rest became clear to him within minutes of his arrival.

      "I only had like three bucks on me, I was a kid," he reminisced, nodding his head. "But that got me like four draft, three double rum and cokes and a plate of honey-garlic chicken wings. I was floored."

      "I woke up the next day in the fountain out in front of the place feeling like a truck had run me over. I knew right then that blowing my brains out or jumping off the bridge was simply not an option."

      Wright said he devised a simple yet painstaking plan to slowly gorge himself at the Halifax fixture over a period of "seven to eight years, depending", whereupon he would die of massive liver failure, a legend in his own time.

      "I had my funeral all planned, the doormen were going to be the pallbearers, and Donnica was going to give the eulogy. I guess that's all a dream, now."

      Wright said he is unsure of how to proceed with his suicide plans, although he remains optimistic about cashing in on damage already done.

      "I can't believe my liver has more than a couple of years left on it," the gaunt Wright said, drawing smoke artfully from a cigarette. "I might be able to get the job done with a couple good showings at Happy Hour at the Crow on Thursdays, I dunno."

      When informed that NSCAD has also purchased the Split Crow, which is rumoured to be moving across the street to the old Peddler's Pub location, Wright stared blankly at this reporter before uttering: "Fuck this then, where's that gun at?"